Follow My Dream

About a week ago I was out walking which gives me a little time to think and clear my head of all the noise of my life. I've been questioning for such a long time what I can do to make money. I really want to paint but with such little experience I wonder if it could ever lead to making enough money to really help us out. It seems unrealistic, but then I know other people have done it. I think about a quote that says, "Do what you love and the money will follow". Painting is what I love. Shouldn't we be doing what we love?

I just decided "that's it!" I'm just going to do what I love. I'm not going to question anymore if I'm good enough, if it's the right thing, I'm just going to follow my passion and not worry about the rest. I thought of a quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that I love,

"Let us then be up and doing
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing
Learn to labor and to wait".

A scripture came to my mind too, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men...(2 Nephi 31:20). I felt so good, so excited. I made up my mind to do it. I knew I wouldn't always feel this confident and excited so I promised to just go through the motions to do it no matter how I feel.

I love Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She says, Dreams are gifts of Spirit meant to alter us. Trust that the same Power that gifted you with your dream knows how to help you make it come true".

About a week later, yesterday, I went to a job interview and knew it was something I didn't want. I didn't want a full time job. I'm not going to work where I can't see my kids. This led to a big argument with my husband about money. I felt so discouraged and depressed. It seems like I'm just being foolish to try to sell paintings. But then I wonder why would Heavenly Father plant such a passionate dream in me if He didn't intend me to pursue it? Yes we need money now. Is there ever a good safe time to pursue your dreams? I think that's the exact thing that prevents us from going after what we want. It's not safe. It doesn't feel secure. It's plain scary! Why? Maybe the Lord wants us to trust Him in helping us make our dreams come true. And why do we hesitate to trust in the Lord? We would rather trust ourselves and our own judgement.

This morning I finished a little 5 x 7 landscape of a view up our street that I love. I feel so happy and peaceful. Whether painting makes me money or not, I need it. I feel so energized and excited when I see something that I know I want to paint. It's just a moment, but it's like magic. The light, the colors, the shapes, bring feelings of being so alive. Next time I will try to post a picture of the paintings I've done, but right now my camera is in the shop. I would love to convey what I feel in my paintings to someone else's heart. To bring them the same sense of awe that I feel in nature and in the beauty of human beings.

I would love to hear your comments and feelings on the pursuit of your dreams or on the pursuit of my dreams. Do you think it's good to be a dreamer? What about in these economic times? Please share!